Circle Effect

Today I got my monitor taken off and I had my echo/ultra sound of my heart. The GREAT news is... they found a heart. Contrary to some people's beliefs I do have one and it beats and everything! The lady told me I have a beautiful aorta. Thank you? It was actually a relief to see my heart. Although I don't know what a normal heart looks like or the different sounds each valve makes, I was happy to see things working. I was glad I passed my anatomy class because I actually knew most of the things she was looking at. Sadly the results won't be given to me until my follow up appointment. BOO! Oh well. If it's something serious he will call. I'm sure it's nothing serious so I will find out in a week and a half.

I would like to currently crawl under a rock. I feel under appreciated. I don't have a penny to my name. I don't have anything to give anymore. I've given everything. I've seriously hit the lowest of low. How is this possible? HOW IN THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?! (Sorry Mom) I am sitting here with my hood on to make me feel hidden from the world. I want it to rain. Mostly because then the sky will feel how I feel. I want to scream. I want to punch things. I want this all to go away. This isn't fair! This isn't funny anymore. This isn't anything, but depressing and hurtful. Just when things are looking up, I look around and realize I'm lower than low. I'm so mad.

I just can't get away from this. It always comes back to knock me down.

And there is this STUPID dog that keeps barking and if it doesn't shut up I might go kick it!

I think I'll go take a drive. I don't really have anywhere to go. I just know I need to be somewhere other than here. Although I guess I shouldn't go waste gas when I have no money to buy more. HA! This is a joke. My life is a big FAT joke!

I'm trying to get myself help, but of course that costs money. I can't effing win!!!!!!!