When I was at work I was talking to a friend about me being scared about going alone to this appointment. She asked why I hadn't asked Jamie to come with me. I told her because I bet he will say no because he works Tuesday night and needs sleep. I figured what do I have to lose and I asked him. He said he would go. I started crying. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't as scared anymore and I knew I could do this.
The appointment was at 8 and of course I didn't get back until 8:30. I was strange. I had to do an EKG (which shows my heart rhythm). Then I was taken into Dr. S.'s office where it was covered in plaques and recognitions. We waited for him for about 10 min. His desk was wooden and beautiful with a cup of coffee in a U of A cup (-1 point for him for liking U of A) He had pictures of his daughters behind him which I thought was awesome. I knew Dr. S. was an older man and when he walked in I was right. I had seen a head shot of him and I thought he would be a short man with a gut.... I was SO wrong. Yes he was older, but he was TALL and slender.
He asked me some basic information about my family and about my lifestyle. I told him about my weight loss and about going to the gym. I told him about my family and all that jazz.
We went back into the exam room. I don't understand why they make the rooms so bloody cold and then they want you to change into this stupid paper gown! My toes were turning purple it was so cold and I was shivering. Finally he made his way into the room. He did his voice charting in front of me which I thought was actually pretty cool. He even said I was a pleasant 22 year old. (thank you for noticing my awesomeness!) He then asked me again about my weight loss and I told him I'm done losing weight and I'm okay where I am now. He told me, "You are the skinniest person I will see all month. You my dear, don't need to lose anymore weight. You are at 21 BMI. Do you know how many people that are at that? 1% that's how many!" I told him thank you and I confirmed again I was happy. I was really thinking... I've gained 2 pounds in a week. What would he said a few weeks ago when I weighed 120 instead of now 123. I hate weight gain. I'm so irritated.
I digress.... He listened to my heart. Heard the murmur. Said we would do a ECG (an ultrasound to see the murmur), a holter monitor (I wear a heart monitor for 24 hours), and blood work. This makes for an EXTREMELY busy next week. 4 Dr's appointments in 4 days. I might go crazy, just so you know, but I will make it through all this and get some answers. Oh by the way. He said he doesn't think my birth control has anything to do with it, but I think I would feel more comfortable with switching it just in case.
By the end of the day my body was "attacking" me. My endo is pissed at me because it's supposed to by my period. My heart keeps doing strange things too. My poor body needs a rest.
Staycation this weekend. (although by this weekend I'll probably weight 130!) (Sorry I'm just angry. I know 130 is fine, but I've done so much work it would be nice to STAY where I'm at for a month at least!!!!!!!!!!) It will be nice to relax and hang out for a bit.
Okay I have to get ready for work... Actually wait... I have one more thing on my mind. People... I didn't lose my weight by being anorexic or bulimic, I worked extremely hard at the gym and watched diligently to my food. Stop asking me if I'm anorexic. It's not funny anymore. I eat. I ate A LOT, I just eat things that are better than pizza and donuts. And I'm gaining it back because I haven't gone to the gym in a while. I forgot to ask the Dr. about that. He did ask about my activity level. I told him I am pretty active. Jamie said he thinks that the Dr. thinks I've still been going to the gym. I guess I should have specified.
Now I'm going to work.
xoxo
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