Meet My BEST Friend

This is Jamie...

He has been apart of my life since November 19th 2009. We met late one night at a Quick Trip gas station because I knew there were cops there and I wanted to know if any of them were hot. Lucky for me there was one that was a real sexy piece of man! I, of course, immediately got my flirt on with him and batted my pretty little eyes. I then walked out and decided, at that moment, I needed to throw out trash from my car (because I was trying to stall for him to walk out!) He walked out and then I continued to flirt with him. Through conversation he figured out my name and found me later on Facebook! Late that night we were FB friends and were exchanging messages. The next night he sent me his number and I immediately text him. We met up later for our first date at the Ihop, he was at work and just happened to be hungry, so he invited me to tag along. The following night we had our first REAL date and went to Outback. From day one we were inseparable ♥

Our first picture

Jamie has been my best friend for the past year and a half and has been there through a lot of rough times. He was there when I didn't have a job and when I got my job now! He was there when I first had the crippling pain and we sat up together wondering what in the devil was that!!!! He was there to take me to the gym and get me excited about being healthy. He has helped me move twice. He is there every time I cry, which is A LOT!!!! (Seriously, I don't know anyone that cries more than me! I keep crying writing this. I have issues!!!) He was there when I went to school and dropped out of classes and retook some. He was there to take me to Sea World, Universal Studios, and Six Flags all for the first time!

 He was there, after working a night shift, waiting with me before surgery (and he had to work again that night!) He was there when I got home from my parents and had random cravings in the middle of the night, he fed me. He was there to take me to California again to give my pain and worries over to the Lord and let them go with the waves of the ocean.

 He is there to push me towards my goals. He is there to hold my hand through the pain. He has picked me up off the ground and put me on the couch, chair, or bed so many times I have lost count.  He has been my main squeeze. He has been my pillow, blanket, hand and foot warmer (which he really dislikes my cold hands and feet! He once bought me pink fuzzy socks so I would stop putting my cold toes on him!) He is the one that makes me laugh no matter WHAT! He has been there every step of the way. He was there when I was to scared to go to the cardiologist by myself. He was there to help me stay positive in a whirlwind of bad. He gives me strength to fight for answers.

When Jamie and I first started dating we were open and honest with each other and knew each others goals, wants, wishes, and dreams. We knew that we wanted to be together and it was going to be a BLAST!!!! (which it has been!) We also knew that at some point there would be a fork in the road, but yet we can't ever seem to part ways.

I've had MANY people question me, "Why don't you just get over it?" "Just move on." "He doesn't want the same things as you so this should be easy." "You are just wasting your time."

It is not simple task for me to walk away from the man that has loved me through all my flaws. He has been there through the HARDEST time in my life. He loves me even though I'm "broken," and scarred. He has been the BEST "waste of time" in my entire life. (and no I don't consider him a waste of time, I was just being facetious.) He loves me for me!

I do understand that this may seem completely ridiculous to some, but for me this is very real. How do you convince yourself to leave an AMAZING person to risk a shot with someone else. Let's be real... Who wants to date a "broken" girl? Who wants to deal with some silly little girl that on occasion falls and can't get up? Who is going to be strong enough to pick me back up off the ground? Who wants to put up with strange diets, behaviors, and much much more? This guy does...

Yes, mostly I'm scared to leave him for something unknown. Yes, in my mind there are a lot of what if's like........ What if I do get married to some guy that wants a big family and then I can't even have a single child? What if he resents me because I can't give him a family? What if he decides I'm no longer good enough? Okay, Okay, I realize this sounds completely outrageous, but this is real life for me.

I am just being real with my feelings right now. I'm just letting everyone out there know about my true feelings. I want people, including Jamie and myself, to know how challenging this is. I love Jamie and there is not a switch to just turn that off. I never thought from the first time I met him that we would have made it this far, but we have and it has been an amazing journey. I am so thankful for his love and dedication to me. He has been a blessing in my life in so many ways and it's hard to imagine not spending the rest of my life with him.

We have gone through so much together and we are stuck like glue.