Frustration

I was at Jamie's this evening laying down before the gym. I got up to go use the restroom and the pain it. It was that 10 on 10 pain that I started feeling about a year ago. I quickly crawled back into the fetal position and cried. Jamie helped me get some ibuprofen and a granola bar in hopes to calm my pain. So much for going to the gym...

I have had pain since my surgery, but nothing like this. I was angry because the pain is full blown back in gear apparently. The other night I was also in pain, but was able to just curl into a ball, cry, and go to sleep.  I can't even imagine how bad my pain would be right now if I did follow my Dr's orders and go off birth control until I see my cardiologist. May pain has been between a 4 and 6 ever since the major pain earlier. I'm sore. I'm achey. I'm tired.

I am so frustrated!

I'm supposed to have my cardiologist appointment today, but they called yesterday afternoon saying they needed to reschedule. I didn't get their message until after 6 so I wasn't able to call them back. I'm glad they felt like they could just call the day before trying to change things when I've had this appointment for weeks. I have scheduled other appointments around them. Do they realize they are not the only ones!!!!

I am so annoyed!

My great uncle died Monday after losing his fight to cancer. My mom told me my grandma said he was at peace when he died and went out fighting. I HATE CANCER! I hate it!!!! Cancer has taken so many people in my life! Why can't cancer just kill it's self! Now that would be fabulous! I will be going to the funeral to pay tribute and see my family.

I am so angry!

I should know by now not to take the little things in life for granted. A pain free day, a kiss, a hug, and so much more.