Out of Hiding

It's true I've been hiding from the blogging world because my own thoughts were just too mis-mashed to put down on here. I didn't want to write my feelings down in fear of being judged by other people. I don't really want to hear what I'm doing wrong and how I should do this instead of that or whatever.

Over the last week ish that it's been since I've written a lot has happened. Emotionally I am drained. When the endo pain hits it drains me emotionally so everything else going on has just added on top of everything. It's like one big pile of poop! I'm not ready to go into detail about what else has been going on to make me so emotional. I know I need to write it out because it seems to help, but I'm just not ready.

On a lighter note. Jamie and I spent the weekend snowboarding. Well we drove up Sunday and went boarding Monday. It was fun. He had a hard time with it because he doesn't know how to stop so he kept falling. I haven't done it in so many years I was extremely worried about not being able to remember. Surprisingly I not only remembered, but I was better than the previous years!

Tuesday I had a follow up appointment with Dr. G (not my normal GYN) once again he tried to work me up for a problem that I already knew I didn't have. He talked to me about interstitial cystitis which I had already had ruled out if he would ever read my bloody chart!!!! He came down to saying my period pissed off my endo and any possible adhesions that have grown. He said that as long as my pain is under control with my BC that he is good with that. He kept talking to me about lupron and my head was spinning because all I could think of was how much I DO NOT want to be on that. He said that if my pain gets bad I can do another surgery to check stuff out down there or I can go on lupron. I told him right now I don't want to do anything. I can't wait to see my Dr. M next month so I can tell him what has been going on. I'm however not excited for more biopsies, but whatever. I'm pretty convinced that I'm strong enough to handle whatever the outcome is of those biopsies. I'm the least stressed about these ones even though this one is more scary!

I started diligently training for my triathlon. I'm really looking forward to it and I'm really looking forward to going up to Utah in April to see my sister and train with her. We are going to make shirts and look so cute!

Maybe I'll be brave this week and talk about the real big things that are on my mind. Then again maybe I won't.

Ps... Other endo girls... What do YOU think about Lupron?