Heaven's Touch

This morning I went over to Jamie's house after work. I walked in and noticed first thing that there was candles lit. As I continued to walk in there was Christmas music playing. Jamie came peeking around the corner and I gave him a HUGE hug! While in the embrace he began to dance with me.

As we were dancing my favorite Christmas song came on and I began to cry. I was crying because this was the sweetest thing EVER and no one had ever done anything like this before. I also started crying because all my walls were breaking down and I had to acknowledge all my fears that I have been hiding about my sickness.

I was listening to the words of this song I started crying harder...

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now
Be with me now

Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of heaven
Breath of heaven
Light up my darkness
Pour over me your holiness
For you are holy

Breath of Heaven

("Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant)

This song became my own person prayer. I was crying and singing all at the same time and it was a hot mess! Jamie just held me in a tight embrace until I gained my composer back and the next song came on where he sang to me and we laughed together.

What a special moment we shared together. It was a simple thing he did that made my day so much better. I must say I do love him.

As for my "prayer" to heaven, I really felt strengthened after breaking down those walls and admitting that I'm struggling. It was a moment where I realized Mary, although chosen for this large task, was scared, worried, alone, weak and struggling. If the mother of my Savior can have moments of weakness then I believe it is okay for me to have those moments too. She was a real women and had feelings just like me. Obviously our situations are a lot-a bit different, but she felt those feelings and that is a great strength to me.

That moment gave me a little glimpe of Heaven's touch on my life.