Here's the truth

Well the truth is I've been avoiding the blog on purpose. I feel like I've let you all down and importantly myself down.

Here is what happened...

Since September I had been experiencing pain in my lower right side. It was random and would hit me so hard I would just cry. Then after 10 min it would go away. I went to my GYNO Dr. She worked me up for a few months. I had an ultra sound and blood work, but they couldn't figure it out. I went to the ER one morning in hopes they could figure out the pain, but no such luck. I went back to the Dr and she said that maybe I had scar tissue in my abdomen from getting my appendix out in 2007. In January I went to see the surgeon. I did another ultra sound and nothing was visual. The only way to figure out the pain was to have surgery. I was not too thrilled about this. I was scared out of my MIND!!!! The pain was getting more frequent and it was ruining my life. I had to stop going to the gym because it hurt me. I scheduled the surgery and gave up on my hopes to do the bikini show on March 12 and finish the body transformation by the end of March.

The weeks leading up to surgery I did attempt to go back to the gym and just ended up crying and asking Jamie to please hurry and take me home. I went again because I'm stubborn and I cried because I couldn't do the things I wanted to so I went into the empty class room and danced. I did ballet to the music in my head and made my experience more enjoyable.

I had surgery on February 17th. It was scheduled for 10:30, but I didn't go back into surgery until 3! It was a long day, not to mention I was at work the night before doing a bowel prep. That was fun.... NOT!!!!!

When I was going to sleep they asked me where I work nights and I told them and they said, "oh we will take extra good care of you." (I had surgery at the same hospital I work for.) I woke up an hour and a half later. I was being yelled at to breathe and then after I was more aware of what was going on I started to cry. I was scared and didn't know the people around me. I held my hand out to one of the nurses and asked him to hold my hand. This guy was skinny and had a mustache, but he held my hand and when he left the other nurse held my hand. I was put into some rolling recliner thing and taken to another area where my parents were finally able to come back. My dad informed me they talked to the Surgeon and he told them they had found endometriosis attached to my bowel and were able to safely remove all of it. They did not see any signs of it anywhere else. I started crying again and asked if I could still have babies. I remember my dad chuckling under his breath and saying yes you can still have kids. At some point I started crying again because there was no food at my house for my mom to eat. I was really stressed about that apparently, but I have no recollection about that. I had an abrasive nurse that kept saying things that on a normal day would have made me yell, but I was drugged. She brought me some Vicoden and let me get dressed as my dad went to get the car. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There was something wrong with my FACE!!!!!! I was so mad! I had patiki eye!!!! I had a bunch of broken blood vessels all over my face. I had red dots all over my face, neck and chest. This probably happened at some point when I was having a hard time breathing. Not breathing, choking, coughing hard or even throwing up violently are some of the causes. I asked the nurse about it and she had no clue. She thought it was an allergic reaction at which point I tried to explain what it was and how it could have possibly been caused, but I'm sure in my head it sounded WAYYYY better than what came out of my mouth. When I got in the car with my dad I said there was something wrong with my face and my hair looked hideous and not to tell anyone I looked like that!

We made it back to my apartment. I tried to eat, but felt sick so I slept. My dad drove home to Pima and my mom stayed with me. The next day she drove me and my car down to Pima so I could be with my family as I recovered. I'm so glad I went home to recover because I needed the laughs and smiles of nieces and nephews to make me laugh and smile. We even had an ice cream party on my behalf because that's all I wanted to eat.

I'm glad the surgery is over and done with. I go back to the surgeon on the 22 for a follow up. I have some pain on and off, but nothing like before. I attempted to go back to work after a week of recovery, but after a few hours I was driven home by a great coworker that could see the pain in my eyes. I took another week off and I feel a TON better.

I am truly blessed to have such amazing people in my life to take care of me. My whole family made sure I didn't do to much although I did get in trouble a few times for picking up my 2 year old nephew! Jamie took care of me here and made sure I was eating and resting. I never wanted to eat, but when I had a craving he made sure that I could get whatever food I wanted quickly! My coworker Shari is an angel for taking me all the way out east to take me home because there was no chance in heck I could drive.

I start back on a work out schedule the 23rd assuming the Dr gives me the OKAY!!!! I'm doing a 3.4 mile obstacle course run. It's called the warrior dash and I'm doing it with about 10 of my coworkers. I'm really excited to get back out there and start seeing results again in a HEALTHY WAY!!!!! My name for the dash is going to be BARBIE WARRIOR PRINCESS!!!!!

Thanks for reading my blog! I did miss blogging! Now I'm moving forward with life and accepting the lemons and making AMAZING LEMONADE and creating memories that will last me a life time!

-ME-