Summer-Now

I haven't posted in MONTHS because I have been so overwhelmed with things going on in my life.

Kiara (my niece) had her first surgery in May.

In June I went to a family reunion. Went to California with Jamie where we had fun playing tennis every day in the cool air, we went paddle boarding in the bay, and just spent time being together.

July Kiara had another surgery because the first surgery the Dr did not place the right size shunt. She spent almost a week in the pediatric ICU at my hospital. The Dr. sent her home to early. She was sent home vomiting and still was having head aches. The next day She was in an ER 3 hours away from the hospital where the Dr was taking care of her. She was taken (with my sister) by ambulance back to the hospital where the Dr could watch her. She came to the ICU again. This was a really hard time for my family and I. The Dr was less than helpful giving us information about what was going on. He kept trying to beat around the bush. After this happening for 3 days I went to one of the girls that I know and  lit a fire under everyone. The girl is the social worker on the floor and I let her know that we have no idea what is going on and we need answers. Pretty soon the Drs were in there, but the Neurosurgeon was SUPER rude. He was pissed that we were asking questions. Well maybe if he flipping told us what was happening in the first place we would be so mad. From the time she came back to the hospital to this day (Wednesday) She could not stand for long periods of time with out getting a head ache. She couldn't even hardly sit up completely to eat her food. OBVIOUSLY something was wrong. Finally on Thursday the Neurosurgeon  came in and adjusted her shunt with the magnet and INSTANTLY she felt better.

Oh did I mention that when she came back to the hospital I called my sister in Utah and told her what was happening and she and her family loaded up the car and drove 10 hours to get to the hospital so my  sister wouldn't be alone. I have an AMAZING family!

Kiara is doing better. She is in the 5th grade and happy as can be.

I started nursing school which a whole new journey. I had my first quiz today and it's only the 2nd week of school. I missed 2 or 3 out of 25. Oh well. Whatever. I passed and that's really all I care about. I'm really nervous because I feel so much responsibility with this role. I text one of my girl friends who works with me and she told me to get it together because I ROCK and I know what I'm doing I just need to have a little bit of faith in myself.

Jamie and I have been having a lot of ups and downs lately. It's been really hard on me. I've been with him for almost 3 years and when we fight it tears me apart. I love him, but sometimes I really wonder how much he loves me. I probably shouldn't have written that, but well I don't even care. He knows how I feel.

I realized last Friday that a lot of the abuse from my past is still playing a HUGE role in my life today and it's not the best of feelings. Damn men! I've been working on getting passed this for quite some time, but apparently you can't snap your fingers and make all the bad stuff in your life disappear.

I'm going to go to bed now.