Making 2014 MINE

 

In May I graduated from nursing school! I was one of the speakers for my nursing ceremony and had fun uplifting others to continue on with their dreams to touch lives!

In June I took my state boards and found out I passed within less than 24 hours! I immediately called my manager and before the day was over I had a job offer where I currently work! I started working at a nurse 2 weeks later!!!!

While passing my state boards and learning to become a nurse on the job I was training for my first bikini show!!!!

I had an amazing time doing the competition and look forward to doing my next show. I was able to compete with Jamie and that made it an amazing once in a life time experience for both of us! I will do another show in November and will start training for it tomorrow.

I'm still doing orientation at my work and will take on the night shift position by myself in just a few short weeks. I'm really loving being a nurse and loving how much I've been able to accomplish this year for myself. 

I told Jamie at the beginning of this year that 2014 would be MY year and so far it has been!

I Did It!

Yes that's right, I did it!

I FINISHED NURSING SCHOOL!!!!!!

I can not believe how crazy the last 2 years of my life have been. And to look back and realize that I did it! It was hard and crazy! I was driving 2.5 hours to school on Sunday's and 2.5 hours back on Wednesday's and working Thursday-Saturday nights in the emergency room! There was so many sleepless nights! So many I can't even count. The above schedule was on a good week and most weeks were much more chaotic and filled with clinicals or lab or other various school things I had to do.

The thing is… Even though I had to drive those 2.5 hours multiple times I wouldn't change it for the world. On either side of those 2.5 hours I had people that loved me. On one side was my amazing parents. They have been there through it all. They have patiently and lovingly got me through the last 2 years. They were there for countless break downs over school or life or just little things like my dogs being sick! My mom made sure to feed me and have whatever food I was hooked on that week stocked for me. They never knew if I was eating healthy or not so they always had ice cream just in case! We had family dinner most nights together and that is something I will miss. I will also miss our Tuesday night date with "NCIS." My parents have made this dream possible for me. After all it was my mom who told me that one night so long ago, "You would make a great nurse. You stayed really calm and that was awesome."

On the other side of the 2.5 hours was my loving boyfriend Jamie. We have gone through so much together the last 2 years with my schooling and his accident and just life in general. One thing that amazes me that we came out on the other side of nursing school just as close as ever. He has been so patient with me as I've had my fair share of melt downs over stupid things. We have grown together to make a pretty good team. I am thankful for him sticking by my side and reminding me constantly that I can do it!

During those 2.5 hour drives I got to talk to my best friend Randa! I would call her every time I was in the car. I knew where the dead zones were and when the phone would start to cut out. We talked about everything. She got used to my road rage and honking at cars! I got used to her being a mom and picking back up the conversation seconds later. It was so much fun and made the drive go by faster.
During the no cell phone zones I knew which radio stations worked when and when to start my cd player!

Nursing school made it hard to spend time with my family. Luckily for me my sisters were just a text or phone call away. I had fun talking to them and on occasion skyping with my nieces and nephews. During the first part of nursing school one sister lived just down the road from my parents along with both of my brothers. My other sister lived in Utah. It was fun going to Celissa's house right after school and just relaxing and eating a cookie or two! If I came home to my parents early enough on Sunday's all my siblings would be there (at least the ones that lived in town.) I flew to Utah multiple times and spent time with my sister and her family. I spent a birthday there over Christmas break and then a week there during the summer celebrating her oldest daughter's birthday. During my years I also got to meet up with my brother Ren for occasional breakfast's and sometimes he would stay at my parents for work stuff. If I stayed late on Wednesday's I would always get to see my other brother, Aaron. It was fun to get to play with his daughter one on one. During Jamie's accident my family were there for me. Elizabeth considered coming down from Utah and both my sisters made care packages! I love my siblings!!!!!!!!

One great thing about going to school and working at the same time is the nurses I work with were willing (most of the time) to help me with studying, homework, and even care plans. The nurses are awesome and spent time teaching me. I was able to have more hands on experience than the other students because each time I went to work I was learning more about becoming a nurse. Even though I wasn't actually doing all the nursing things I was still having fun. Sure I didn't really get to go out with my work friends very often but I did get spend every weekend with them.

I made new friends. Starting out on my journey I instantly became friends with Michelle, the smartest girl in class. We sat together for almost all 4 semesters (the last semester the teachers were constantly making us change seats, lame.) Then there was Jamie. I had worked with her before in the ER when I was just 18. We had a love/hate relationship back then and it carried forward. In second block we picked up Andi. Who became part of the study pack. Then there was Adalyn who joined in as well. Before I knew it I loved all the girls in my class. Wendy came and stayed with me during out of town clinicals and I stayed with the other girls one weekend just for fun. We all had our quirks, but man did I love 90 percent of all the people in my class. Lisa and Bernice were sassy and called me various spanish names that I still don't even know… something about a bun and a white girl. I will never forget how much fun everyone was and how much we all supported each other through the hardest 2 years!

What an amazing journey the last 2 years have been for me. At first I wasn't sure how it all was going to play out, but I did it. Each week was different than the week before and I was constantly looking at my planner. It was one of the craziest things I have ever done. When Jamie had his accident I really wasn't sure how I was going to keep doing all of the things and take care of him. Thankfully with the time off from work I was able to juggle it all. Looking back I know that God's hand was in all of these things. He knew that I could do it and knew I could handle even a little more. Never had I prayed more than I did in nursing school! I had a lot of guardian angels looking over me as I drove with little to no sleep. I am glad that it's over, but wouldn't change any of it!

Goodbye nursing school… Hello NCLEX!

Please Stop...

Over the weekend as I was putting together a toy for a young child I was interrupted by someone asking when I was going to have kids. I quickly shot back, "I'm not." To this she replied, "Oh just wait until you're 30 and your ovaries start quivering." At that point more nurses joined in saying how oh you'll be a mom and how can you not have kids.

To everyone out there… PLEASE STOP ASKING WHEN I'M GOING TO HAVE A CHILD!

You will never know what goes on in my mind. Just because your friend or sister in law or really anyone you may know has one of the same problems I do and ended up with children doesn't mean I will. I have THREE diagnosis' that stack up against me. (Endometriosis, adnomyosis, Polycystic ovaries) I was told FLAT OUT, "You will need help ovulating," and really that's just the beginning!

Just because you can't handle what I have to say doesn't mean you should continue to annoy me with your questions!

At this point in my life I am 25! I'm finishing nursing school! I have other things I'm worried about right now. I've had to put my dreams of having a family behind me. Just because other women can handle the pain that comes from losing a child, or pay thousands of dollars to POSSIBLY conceive doesn't mean I can or want to. The thought of getting pregnant and then losing that pregnancy is not something I can even begin to imagine.

Don't get me wrong, if by the grace and miracles of God I do conceive a child, I will love that baby with everything I have and more. However, if that miracle doesn't come I've accepted that (at least for now.) I do have the right to change my mind at any given chance and try valiantly to have a child, but that's not right now.

I'm just so sick of people thinking that just because I'm young I'm fertile. Just because I'm young I don't know what I want. Just because I have a disease that someone they know has I must be just like them. Well what they don't know is the hundreds of thousands of women who can't have kids because of just one of those three disease.

It's flat out rude to pester people about whether they want children or when they are going to have said children. It's rude that I have to sit in public and defend myself. It's disappointing that no one cares to listen to me since I know my body! It's sad that I feel belittled by other women because of my body. IT WAS NEVER MY CHOICE TO HAVE THESE PROBLEMS! It's not like I sat there one day and said, "You know I think it would be fun to have pain on and off for the rest of my life. It would be fun not to ever follow my dreams of being a mom." Not once have I ever thought those things.

You would think that women could be a little more empathetic towards that, but however that doesn't always seem to be the case. We should be building each other up and loving each other when life gives us lemons. We should rally around each other in love and friendship. I, for one, don't always like talking about my health issues, especially in the middle of working!

This was not meant to offend those involved, but to educate for the future of myself and others like me.

Back At It

Well this week has been fun… Well maybe not so much.

Sunday my sister surprised me with a visit to my house with her family including the dog. It was a short visit because they were on their way back home to get the kids home and in bed for school in the morning. It was fun just hanging out and they are the first real visitors we have had at the house! I love the kids of course…. I always talk about them! I'm glad they stopped by for a bit to boost my day! Jamie and I had fun later just hanging out and having fun. We needed just a relaxing night! When I finally laid down to go to bed around 4 the pain came.

It was horrible! I started crying. Jamie asked what to get I was sent into a panic because I only had 2 hydro's left and I knew I couldn't take them both because what if I have more pain later with nothing to fall back on. So I took one, 800mg of IBU and 2 heating pads! Nothing helped. I couldn't get comfortable. Then the pain was so bad that I felt like I was going to vomit. Then the meds didn't help with the nausea. Of course I couldn't take nausea meds because I left them at my mom's during Christmas and the other meds knock me out for 12 hours at the least and I had an appointment to go to later on. At around 7:30 I finally fell asleep on the couch. Then 9:30 rolled around and Jamie woke up and came to help me from the couch back to the bed. I went to my rehab appointment and was late because I was so exhausted.

Later Jamie took me out shooting my new gun he got me for Christmas. It was good to get my mind off the pain. I must say I'm a pretty good shot! Don't mess with this sexy lady!

Tuesday was Jamie's birthday. We spent the first part of the day just being lazy. Who doesn't love to just lay under the covers and chit chat with their significant other! It was a good morning. We went shooting again at the indoor range and went to lunch. In the evening I had to return back to school so I went on the 2 hour drive back to my parents to start school Wednesday morning.

It's my last block of nursing school!!!!! It's seriously CRAZY! I hope my pain settles down so I can get through this. I don't know if it's so out of control because I started this new pelvic rehab and so the muscles are just getting manipulated more. Or maybe my pain is all from my devil period. I guess soon I won't have a period since I'm getting the IUD. I still don't even know how I feel about that, but I guess if it doesn't work out then it can always come out. It's not the end all be all.

Well I have to get back to studying….