A Punch in the Face

Don't laugh too hard at my fingers. It seems that I may have forgotten a few things from my ballet teacher, but EVERY time I look at this picture I can't help but laugh.


Jamie and I spent the weekend it California. It was a much needed break from things going on in life that just seemed too much to handle at the time.


Going to California was just the thing I needed to let go of all the hurt and pain that I have been feeling about my endometriosis. I was able to feel my Heavenly Father's love through the beautiful Earth He has given us. I felt like He knew me and knew my pain and that is what I needed.

As I was doing my laundry today I received an email from someone who I will keep anonymous that brought back my hurt. I want to share with you part of the letter to help people out there reading this blog what we women of endometriosis deal with. The context is me saying I needed to take this trip to California to take a break from the disease that now controls my life.

"Please consider next time you say you have “a disease that controls your life,” think of my sister and those millions of others that truly have a life changing disease. You can still have kids. You don’t have to change your life to accommodate doctor visits and treatments. You don’t have to have a special diet. You aren’t going to lose your job because of endometriosis. You are lucky. I am not saying any of this to make you mad or offend you or make you feel like I don’t care about the fact that you do have endometriosis. I am saying it to make you think."


To me this is a PUNCH IN THE FACE!!!!

Dear readers let me clear some things up...

One Endometriosis controls my life in the following ways
- I have pain.
- My pain strikes at any given time
- When the pain is bad enough I can not move for quite some time.
- I have been in the middle of saving a child's life when the pain came on and that was a very critical moment.

Two The doctor does not know if I can have children. There is a strong chance that I can yes, but I will not know until I try. Every period I have lowers the chances of ever having a child.

Three I work nights. So going to the doctor is a struggle because they are only open at certain times. If I do not get my pain under control with birth control I will be getting a monthly shot which will put me in to Menopause.

Four I do have a diet. GLUTEN FREE!!! oh and with that no sugar. No Caffeine. No Milk products (which includes my fav ICE CREAM.) No Red Meat.

Five I have missed days of work because I am in so much pain. I'm sure my team doesn't appreciate it when I don't show up for work. Especially when we run short staffed almost every night.

Six Sure I'm lucky that I am not dying, but I live with pain every day and there is no CURE!!! Not even the treatments take the pain away or the endo away. Surgery doesn't fix everything. Oh and if by the grace of God I do have a daughter the chances of her going through the same things I am is GREAT!

I once again encourage everyone to go and read about endometriosis and learn the facts before saying something that will hurt someone.