Almost Time to Tri

Saturday is my triathlon. I'm nervous, but excited. I mostly can't wait to hold my niece and nephews in my arms again. Have I mentioned that I love them? I love all my nieces and nephews. Nothing brings me as much joy in my life as my family does. They are all my little angels! I wish I could see them all more! And may I just add in here that I'm VERY protective of my family. I'm like a big mean dog when it comes to my family and protecting them.

I digress... Triathlon... I don't know if I'm ready. I'm not really in a good place mentally as of late. I dunno. I think I'm getting stronger and able to deal with things in my past, but then something brings me back down. I was starting to finally feel like I have a "voice" again. I felt like I wasn't left silent anymore. I'm still working on it. It's a work in progress for sure. It's not easy to be shut up for so long and then try and break that silence and go back to being "myself." I remember who I used to be and I like her. I wish I could just snap out of this silence I am in, but being shut up for so long became the new "me." At least I am trying I suppose.

Training for this tri has taken a toll on my body for sure. I haven't had to use my hard pain meds in months, but just a few days ago after a hard run I had to take one because of how bad my endo/cramps were. It's a weird pain and sort of different than my endo pain, but still feels the same (if that makes any sense.) I do feel better mentally when I run just not always physically.

I feel like this triathlon signifies a lot more than just running a triathlon. I feel like I've been tri-ing to get my life back. It's been something to work at that is hard for me, but each and every day I feel a little stronger. I know that I've over come a lot in my life so what is one measly triathlon. It's like nothing compared to some of the things I've been through.

I fly out Thursday and can't wait!